


Last christmas i gave you my heart

by StepTowardsTheLight



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Niall, Cheating, Christmas, Eating Disorder, Insecurity, Jealously, M/M, Pining, Top Louis, Unrequited Love, louis cheats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 13:57:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1431028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StepTowardsTheLight/pseuds/StepTowardsTheLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s always been Louis and Harry. Always. Which is why Niall feels so stupid for falling so hard. Somewhere between the Christmas trees and mince pies Niall had fallen head over heals. He knew Louis didn’t feel the same but he couldn’t help but tell Louis. He reacts better than Niall thought he would.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last christmas i gave you my heart

Even in the beginning it had always been Louis and harry. Always. They were inseparable from the very start and the fans picked up on it quickly. Larry was the first ‘bromance’, the first pairing to have fan fiction dedicated it. They were a thing before they were a thin and no one, barring their management really minded.

That was before Niall fell for Louis.

He didn’t really know when it happened but he knew he’d fallen hard. It was September when the feelings first happened. He reckoned they really hit him when Louis and Harry had a fight. Louis came to see him and, in-between the long cuddles and hot drinks Niall’s feelings changed. Of course Louis and harry made it up in the end but nialls feelings didn’t go away.

His first reaction when he allowed himself to acknowledge the feelings was to try and get rid of them. He slept around, figuring it was possibly just built up sexual tension as a product of his sex life being less than satisfactory. It didn’t really help though. The ache in his heart stayed, simply being joined by a pain in his arse as well.

Niall began to slowly withdraw when he finally realised the feelings weren’t going anywhere, no matter how many times he got fucked. He thought that if he distanced himself from louis the feelings would shrink because right now they were consuming him. He became a recluse for those reasons, hiding from the boys and not telling them how he felt. They worried about him not knowing why he’d withdrawn so much. They tried to break him out his shell but nothing seemed to really work.

Niall wasn’t happy with himself anymore.

Louis didn’t love him and Niall began to think it was because of how he looked. He tried to change himself, not eating as much as he should in hope that he’d become skinny like harry. No one seemed to notice, not even when his bones began to show through his skin. Then he went and brought new clothes, changing his style to be more like Harry’s. People on twitter noticed and hated it but the boys didn’t seem to notice at all. That made Niall sadder. It became a struggle to refrain from hurting himself, getting harder and harder as the days went by. Just watching Louis and harry made him feel so numb and no one seemed to care.

It was December when they actually began to notice. Of course they’d seen how Niall seemed to prefer nights in now but that was about it. However in december that all changed. They noticed the bones that poked through nialls skin, realised how quiet he was and how lifeless he seemed. It confused them at first so they tried to comfort Niall, reassure him and tell him they were there but he just flinched away. That scared them. Niall just didn’t like that it had taken them so long to notice him changing.

"Niall do you want to come over? The boys are here too, we’re having a movie night." Harry asked him down the phone one evening, brow furrowing when Niall hung up instantly. He threw his phone down because no. No he didn’t want to come over. Especially not to Harry’s hotel room. He hated the curly haired boy now, this was all his fault, everything was his fault. Niall tried to calm himself, leaving his phone on the floor and putting a bath on, running the water hot before he got in, not minding when it scalded his pale skin.

The boys however were definitely not happy either. This was the third time that week niall had blown them off like that. The third time; they were getting sick of it. Louis decided that he was going to go to Niall’s room and find out what was going on. He gave harry a soft kiss before leaving, letting himself into the blondes room. It had gotten to the point where he didn’t think Niall would actually let him in so he didn’t bother knocking. The room was quiet.

"Niall?" He called looking around the seemingly empty place. He checked the kitchen, the lounge area, the bedroom and finally the bathroom. That was where he found Niall. The sight of the boy in the bath made him feel ill. Niall had been getting thin, he knew that but this was ridiculous. His bones shower through his skin, his eyes were sunken in and his skin was red from the temperature of the water. Louis sucked in a deep breath. "Niall." He squeaked, moving to the side of the bath and lifting Niall out. The blonde protested but he was too weak to actually struggle.

"Louis." He whispered, closing his eyes and leaning into the older boys chest. Louis rubbed his back soothingly as he dried him off, dressing him quickly.

"God you’re so thin Ni." He mumbled, seeing the way Nialls clothes hung off his body. He held the boy close to him, not quite believing this. Maybe this was why Niall had been avoiding them. The blonde boy had been starving himself. Louis stared at the little bruises on Nialls arm uneasily, feeling his heart ache. "Why?" He asked softly.

"Wanted to be thin like Harry." Niall replied almost instantly, feeling Louis’ arms tighten around him.

"W-why?" He stuttered out again, confusion evident on his face. Niall sighed heavily and looked away from louis. 

"So you’d love me like you love him." He said sadly, wriggling away from the older boys arms, looking him in the eye. "I really like you louis." He mumbled, leaving Louis unsure of what to say.

"Ni." He breathed. "I love harry. You getting thin wont change that." He said, his tone gentle. However he quickly realised that was the wrong thing to say as he saw Niall’s face fall. The blonde wriggled away completely, eyes wide and accusing.

"I would do anything for you." He yelped, his tone showing just how hurt he was. He took another step back, almost falling over the Christmas tree. "I lost weight for you, i listened to different music for you, brought new clothes for you. I’d do anything to keep you safe, I’d die for you. Why don’t you love me?" His voice rose in pitch as he got more and more panicky. "Why don’t you love me?" He repeated with a sob. Louis bit his lip, guilt rushing through him.

"It’s always been Harry, Niall. Nothing can change that. I’m so-"

"Don’t." Niall interrupted him. "Don’t fucking apologise." His voice broke over his last words. Louis felt more guilt wash over him. He’d never seen Niall this broken, never though he would either. Deep down he knew he could fix it, cheer Niall up again but that would hurt Harry. Louis hadn’t lied. It would always be Harry for him, he would hate himself if he hurt the boy but maybe this was a decent reason. Niall was killing himself and in all honesty harry didn’t have to know, as bad as that had sounded. He had to pretend with Eleanor, this was no different. It was something he had to do or everyone would get hurt. Losing Niall would kill them all.

"Niall." Louis said gently. "I can’t love you but i can, if you want give you one night. No one can know about it because harry would hate me and it would only be a one time thing but yeah…" He trailed off, focusing on the tree behind Niall rather than the boy himself.

"Ok." Niall agreed, a small smile on his face. "Th-" He made to thank louis but the elder shook his head.

"If i can’t say sorry, you can’t thank me." He said softly, really hoping harry wouldn’t find out about this. Niall nodded quickly and Louis stood up, going over to him. The mistletoe above their heads was coincidence, but it was cute.

Louis kissed Niall slowly, closing his eyes and trying to forget that these lips weren’t Harry’s. Niall did feel guilty, Louis was cheating after all but he tried to push it out his mind. He could barely believe it was happening anyway. Louis elf Niall’s tiny hips, easily lifting him up and causing Niall to gasp. He was carried to the bed, laid down on his back. Everything about Niall was different from harry but Louis didn’t mind as much as he thought he would. He hovered over the blonde boy, kissing his lips tenderly before pulling his shirt off. Taking his time he stripped Niall down, admiring his still damp hair (from the bath) and gulping as he looked over the boys naked body. The lights from the Christmas tree in the corner of the bedroom cast a golden light over them both and Louis couldn’t help but admire nialls beauty. He was gorgeous in this light but he was still nothing on Harry. His Harry, who he was cheating on. Louis sighed, still trying to fight away his guilt he kissed nialls neck gently, holding his hips as he moved down. Niall’s heart pounded rapidly as Louis’ lips moved from his neck to his nipple, a small moan escaping his lips at the feel.

"Oh." He gasped, his back arching off the bed because hell that definitely felt good. With a small smirk on his face Louis repeated his actions, moving down the boys body slowly. Harry soon left his mind as he took in the sweet moans Niall let out.

After what felt like an age he reached the boys crotch, looking up at him through his long eyelashes before spreading nialls legs slowly. His hands ran over Niall’s protruding hip bones as he lowered his head between nialls legs so he could lick him out. Niall squeaked, trying to squeeze his legs shut because that was a new one. He had no idea why Louis was doing that, something the elder found amusing.

"Niall it’s ok." Louis soothed him, looking up and biting his lip as he caught the look on nialls face. "I promise you it’s going to feel good." He kept his tone soft as he spread apart nialls legs again. The blondes cheeks were dark flushed as Louis began to lick over him, squeezing his thigh reassuringly. Nobody had ever been so gentle with him and it made him want to cry. Louis was doing this out of pity, not out of love.

Louis closed his eyes as he licked over nialls entrance slowly. He grinned at the little moans Niall let out before moving his tongue quicker. He pushed it against the boys rim, pressing it in carefully. Niall gasped at the weird (but very enjoyable) sensation, feeling Louis tongue licking into him. At least he had ample distraction from the fact that Louis would never love him.

"Gonna use my fingers now baby." The elder mumbled, wanting Niall to know exactly what was going on. The blonde nodded slowly, watching Louis suck on his fingers, whining when he felt them trail over his hole. He keened as Louis pushed one in, moving his hands so he could cling to Louis’ shoulders.

"O-oh." He moaned,concentrating on how the finger felt moving into him. His head was tipped back, back arched as he clung onto Louis tightly. The finger moved quickly, another sliding in beside it when Louis felt Niall to be ready. It was a bit uncomfortable for the skinny boy but he didn’t mind. He had Louis inside him, that’s all that mattered.

"You ok sweety?" Louis asked softly, watching Niall and kissing at his nose. He watched in awe as he crooked his fingers into nialls prostate, causing the boy to arch up and cry out. His reactions were amazing and Louis was still mentally comparing him to harry, overwhelmed buy their differences. He didn’t feel guilty anymore, he was actually enjoying it. He watched nialls face carefully before he added another finger, carefully stretching him and kissing at his at his neck every so often. He didn’t dare leave a mark, not wanting any of the boys to see it. After a few moments Louis slid his fingers out, kissing Niall on the mouth hard. Their lips moved together sinfully, lips parted. Niall however soon got impatient and pulled away.

"Louis, please." He whined out, tone desperate as he looked up at the boy. Louis only smirked, quickly stripping himself down. Obviously they had no lube as this hadn’t exactly been planned but spit seemed to be doing the trick so far. Louis spat on his hand and spread it over his cock, aware that Niall was watching him. The blonde still couldn’t believe this was happening. Once he felt like he was sufficiently lubed up Louis lined up with the boys hole and pushed in slowly, not wanting to hurt Niall more than he already had.

"Just relax baby." He whispered once he was fully seated, not moving so Niall could adjust. Niall’s eyes were screwed shut, lips a bit parted as he tried to get used to the burn in his arse. Louis kissed his jaw to try distract him. "Tell me when i can move ni." He whispered. Niall nodded, trying to focus on something else because holy hell Louis was inside of him.

"L-lou you cant move now." He said after what felt like an eternity, just wanting to feel good. Louis nodded obediently and began to do just that, slowly thrusting into the smaller boy.

"Fuck you’re tight." He said quietly, holding nialls hips firmly. A moan escaped his lips as he continued to thrust into Niall. The blonde boy looked perfect like this, hair all messy, cheeks red and legs spread obscenely. Louis sped up his thrusts, listening to the high whines and soft moans let out. They were perfect. Louis didn’t understand how Niall hadn’t managed to find someone else. You’d have to be mad not to love Niall but Louis guess that that made him crazy.

"Louis, oh fuck!" The blonde cried out, not wanting to hold onto Louis too tightly in case he left marks that harry would notice. He was close now, driven to the edge by how good Louis had made him feel. The elder was constantly slamming into his prostate and it was driving him wild. "O-oh!" He whimpered before he came shakily, blaming the rimming and fingering for the fact he came pretty early. Louis continued to fuck into him until Niall was a wreck and he too came, filling Niall up before he pulled out.

"Love you." Niall mumbled sleepily as he curled up, cum dripping out of him.

"Night sweetie." Louis mumbled, laying on his back beside Niall and looking at the christmas tree. He’d got back to harry when Niall was asleep.


End file.
